whitney's whimsies: holy week

i love easter, but also i usually hate it. am i a bad person!? no. i don't think so...let me explain why i hate it. easter sunday, (which usually i don't realize is happening so soon until maybe, um, 2 days before), i feel excited for a church service where they will tell us THE story, we will praise and worship THE God about it and thank Jesus for making THE ultimate sacrifice, and i will feel so much gratitude and be so very humbled that He did THAT for ME that i can barely not SOB the entire service, but i will also battle a nagging nagging, completely unholy guilt for not feeling those very same, overwhelming emotions EVERY SINGLE DAY OF MY LIFE. i feel grateful everyday, but there is something about acknowledging THE day of the Resurrection that makes it a whole knew level of REAL to me. guilt is not of God...so i just really need to deal. this year, i knew, it would be even worse. this year i have the type of child that is an absolute sponge and if i didn't get on my horse about this, on sunday i will not only feel even more unworthy of my salvation than i already do, i would also feel like the worst christian mother on the planet for not teaching him all there is to know (at his age) about the Cross and what it means to us. too early you say? i just really don't think it's EVER too early but definitely i should give myself a bit of a break and just start small with quinn. we talk a lot about Jesus together, he knows that Jesus LOVES him, and he knows who we pray to when we are praying. when he gets an owie, he brings the owie to me and says 'pray jesus? please?' i love it and i cry almost every time. i want him to know that the very reason why we can bring our owies to the Healer, is because God sent his Spirit to us, as a result of his resurrection, and now we can access Him all day long, every day! maybe that's a huge concept for my quinn, so maybe i'll start with painting his tiny feet and hands with green paint and putting them on paper to be 'palms'...for when Jesus rode into Jerusalem on a donkey and people were so excited they were waving palm leaves. i told him the story, we painted lots of palms, and sang 'HO HO HO HOSANNA! HA HA HALLELUJAH, HE HE HE HE SAVED ME! NOW I'VE GOT THE JOY OF THE LORD!!" anyways. that was enough for monday...tuesday and wednesday we were busy all day and i fell asleep giving my guilt to the Lord for not making time for Easter projects...now tonight we will do something different to teach him another aspect of what this special week means to us. all of this to say, i am going to deal with my guilt, and start earlier and earlier teaching quinn the details of Jesus, His life, and His death.